I can talk. Sometimes I can't stop talking. However, I never manage to say the things that are really important. I can't quite get out the stuff that I really want to say. Sometimes this is a good thing, as it keeps me from being a complete idiot. Sometimes it's not such a good thing because I don't end up saying things that need to be said. Sometimes, even though I know it's a good thing that I'm not saying everything that's whizzing around in my head and heart, it doesn't feel like a good thing.
Sometimes I wish life were more like books. I wish I could skip ahead and see what will happen in the next chapter, and if I don't like it, just put it down and try a new one. I wish I could have an omniscient narrator for my life, so that I could know what was going on behind that face I find so hard to read.
I hate not knowing where I am, or where I'm going. I hate that I can't figure it out. All I can do is guess. And the clues do not follow the simple logic one finds in Sherlock Holmes, it's much harder to figure out the motivations and desires of people in real life. I can't make all it out. It's not fair that people should be so cryptic. However, I am determined to figure this one out.
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